Dear Dad

Dear Dad,
I wore your Squamish shirt on Saturday morning while I took some photos of a friend from work and her sister for a gift they're giving their stepmom. I was really scared that I wasn't going to be good enough, but did it anyway. I wore the shirt because it just made me feel better about what I was doing. I'm not sure yet what I think of the photos...they need some correcting for sure. Though I'm hoping they'll be okay. We went to see Grandpa in the afternoon. He didn't look very good, but was trying to be strong. I saw the same scared look in his eyes and the fear that his lips fought back that I saw when I would look at you, not very long before you left. It broke my heart. As I as was standing there I felt awful, because I just kept thinking that he and you were so much closer to James and that I didn't know what I could have done to make that any different. Then I felt bad for thinking those thoughts. I mean why does it matter? But I kept thinking it anyway. I always did feel so much different than everyone...it was just so hard to relate. Granny Harp is hurting too...she misses you more than she knows how to say.
It was also a rough weekend for Eric and I. I just felt like we were in rocky waters and just not able to get along for most of the weekend. I still don't have anything shot for my show and I'm starting to get worried. I guess I took some of that frustration out on Eric and he threw quite a bit of his frustration about his bike at me. Though in the end he got his bike and seems to be happy. I've realize that I need to get my butt in gear and it's no one's fault but my own that I stand where I do. We met in the middle and seem to be doing okay now that we're at the close of the weekend.

I'm worried about Grandpa and Granny Harp.

-Tiff