Dear Dad

Dear Dad,
Dre told me today that he may be moving back home to New York and it makes me feel scared and a little sad. Sad for Lexi, because I just can't go right now, and honestly with you not here I don't know that there will ever be a day that I could go. This means she'll be destined to have two parents in two very far away places. Sad for Dre, because he's been here a lot longer that I may have been if I were wearing his shoes and for how lonely he must feel with his family being so far away. I'm scared for what the future holds and what it means for everybody. I remember when I thought that this was going happen a while ago and told you that I was probably going to go too, because I didn't want Lexi to have parents in two separate places. We were on that crazy casino boat that we went on for my birthday. You loaned me money for gambling and when Eric and I actually left the boat with more than we had, you wouldn't even take back what you originally gave me. Anyway...you told me that Lexi would be okay, even if I didn't go and I know she will be fine still if I don't go. Though it wasn't your words that made me stay, I'm so very glad that it worked out that way. I can't imagine not being here for everything that has happened over the last year. Things will just be different and I guess that's what scares me. What scares me a lot is that at times like this, I'm reminded of how I've made such a mess of things...and exactly how many people are affected by it.

-Tiff