Dear Dad

Dear Dad,
Stressful afternoon and evening today. James is doing such a great job of keeping the "business" stuff together for Mom, but he's getting tired. I realize that it's a tough task and blending it into keeping his own stuff together only elevates the level of difficulty. I'm so far removed from it and don't know how to even poke my pinky toe in to help or really make any sense of it. My role is a little different and not as saturated. My part has become more of a quiet constant, everyday, if that makes any sense. I feel a little guilty, because he deals with the tough and not-fun stuff. Mom doesn't like dealing with the not-fun stuff either and doesn't always make it easy. He's doing his best to do what you would do/want him to do and I know he's afraid that he's not succeeding. Though he can't base his level of success on the amount of change in Mom. I learned a long time ago that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped/fixed and you can't control anyone except for yourself. I don't think that Mom feels that anything is broken. At some point you've got to just set the help down until everyone is ready for it. It's hard when it's family though and just setting "it" down only to wash your hands isn't always the right thing do in every case. Now that I've just walked in a circle...I just hope they can find a point of happiness somewhere in the middle, and that James can hear your voice giving him the credit of success that he deserves.

It's been really cold and I worry about your tree. I'm sure Eric and I looked like fools last night trying to cover the tree with a couple of different sheets. I'm sure you had a laugh at the site of us out on the front lawn standing on stools with sheets flying in our hands like flags and landing everywhere but over the tree. In the end we settled for keeping the base of the tree trunk warm and just wrapped some blankets around the roots and bottom of the tree. I worry sometimes about what I "can" say here knowing that I'm putting myself on a stage of sorts and that all of this is available for viewing (by others, besides just you and me) as I'm experiencing all of this. I have to remember that it's all part of the project. I can edit things later, should I decide, though I realize the more true thing to do would be to leave everything just as it is. And it just might help me learn how to not always care so much about what everyone else thinks...I just hope everyone that touches aspects of my life is okay being a little part of the project as well.

-Tiff