Dear Dad

Dear Dad,
I talked with James today and he and Daniela are expecting a baby Harp! It's a very early part of the whole thing for them, but I'm sure everything will work out. James is so exited! Just after coming down from the high of emotion, I thought and wanted to say but didn't..."But Dad's not here; he's going to miss it. God...I'm so sorry..." I realized you and this child won't know each other until much later. James will never be able to look you in the eye with the complete understanding that comes from a child, only after having their own children -I never knew one quick moment and unspoken exchange could be filled with so much understanding, I'm sorrys and forgiveness. This is one of those times that reminds me that I'm a little angry that you're not here. Not mad at you but mad at the spiritual order of things, to which I'm just not privy or able to understand. I'm mad for you and James and that you both are being robbed of experiencing the father/son things that go along with this event that I as a daughter would never even know were missing. I can't imagine you not knowing Lexi. I would give up two of my days if it would give you one day of knowing this experience.

-Tiff